My lords, my ladies of the royal court,
an incident from the life of the precious Mahatma Ghandi.
Now, you see, like I 'splained to ya, they called this here cat "The Hip Ghan,"
that's what they call him. Everybody call him The Hip Ghan.
The sweet, precious Hip Ghan.
'Cause India was swung India. He wailed India. He gassed India.
He grooved India. Now I'm gonna tell you why.
Ya see India was bugged wid da lion.
Every time India gets a little extra scoff inthe cupboard, wham! here come the lion.
Chomp! Swoop the scene and there stand the poor Indians, scoffless.
Bugged them to death.
That was before the Hip Ghan blew in on the scene, you see.
And the day that The Hip Ghan blew in on the scene seem
to be the lion's big swingin' day,
'cause he was into that scoff patch up to his shoulders,
scoffin' up an insane breeze.
So The Hip Ghan back away about thirty or forty feet,
and he holds out his arms cool wise,
and he do a running bop jumpin' whap,
whapped on that lion's tail so hard that thelion swooped the scene
and that gassed India. It gassed 'em.
So naturally in return they want to gas him back.
So Mr. Ribadee, the Indian Patrillo1,
he sent out the notes to all the Indian musicians,
to the ribadee players, the dong-dong players,
the dang-dang players, the ming-long players,
and all the reed-heads, the lute heads, and the blute heads,
and all the blowin' heads there was to come on in,
that they was gonna gas a big jam session for the Ghan.
And whew, here dey come, here dey come!
They come groovin' into this big place to send and swing The Ghan.
And when they all get in there together Mr. Rabadee, the Indian park triller,
he stand up, he say, "Boys, you know what to blow.
'When the Saint Comes Marchin' In.'"
They say, "Groovey."
So here come The Ghan,
with them twenty-six chicks with the horn rim glasses,
nineteen manny goats, and two spinnin' wheels.
And he look so sharp and so fine and so groovey,
cause he got a nice clean white dau-dau on,
and the love light is beamin' through his glasses and gassin' the whole scene.
And they swing him in and they sit him down on some nice groovey sofa pillows,
silkin', that is, and they cool the nanny goats, and the chicks all cuddle,
and they start to blow.
And my lords and my ladies, I'm goin' to hip you.
You may have heard a lot of jam sessions blowin' off.
You may have heard of New Orleans flips.
You may have heard of Chicago style.
You may hve heard of all kinds of jazz jumpin', the wildest,
and the most insane, you may have heard of many musical insane flips,
but you studs and stallions and cats and kitties
never dug any session like these cats blew.
They wailed so hard that the snakes in the jungle
picked up on the lick and come stompin' in for the session,
had to send out the snake guards say, "No dancin' tonight,boys.
We just hippin' The Ghan, that's all. Playin' a little jam session."
Brought the poor snakes clean down.
And they had to send around the wig tappers, you see what I mean.
Sayin', "Jack, I can't put that wig back on you, man. It's goin' in the same hole.
You blowin' too hard. You gotta cool youself for a little while."
And they blowin' up such a crazy, groovey scene that it was double euphoria head.
And when the scene was all over, Mr. Rabadee, the Indian park triller,
he swing over to The Hip Ghan and he do a nice swingin' bow,
and he say, "Oh, great, sweet, swingin', groovey, double-clutchin',
high, non-stop, pine top goal of all double swings in beauty."
And The Hip Ghan say, "Well, if I ain't,
I'm a big, fat, groovey pole on a rough hill on the way there."
He said, "Tell me something."
Say, he's a very hip cat, The Hip Ghan was.
He said, "Tell me somethin'. Did you dig the scene?"
And The Hip Ghan say, "Baby, when I hear them rabadee players,
and thedong-dong players, and them blute blute players,
and the flip heads, and thewood heads, and the reed heads,
and all these boys wailin' up such an insane love breeze
it brought to me the beauty, and the mysticism, and the wonder,
and the gorgeous theme, and the gorgeous wing,
and all the great wild non-stop etherea that is Mother India."
So Mr. Rabadee say, "Well, your sweet hipness,
I like to twisted my wig gettin'; this session together for you,
but I sho' did enjoy it, cause I see the beauty in your face.
But would you do me a little favor?"
"Of course, baby."
He said, "Tell me, which one of the instruments did you dig the most?"
So The Hip Ghan look at him and the love look came on his face
and he say, "Well, baby, the music of all India which I dig the most,
the instrument, you ain't got here."
Mister Rabadee said, "Man, what are you sayin'?
I got the doong-doong players, and the bang-bang players,
and the lebedee players, and the reed heads,
and the lute heads, and every head that I could dig up
that swing out of the jungle here
and you tell me that the one you dig the most I ain't got here."
Said, "Dat's right."
He said, "Well, sweet double hipness, great beloved non-stop beauty,
straighten me. Cause I'm ready."
And The Hip Ghan say, "That's right, that's right. Well, here's the lick."
He said, "Baby, the instrument of all India which I dig the music the most of,
that swings my soul up in that great cathedral head of beauty is the music of the ..."
(scat song interval)
He said, "...the spinnin' wheel, baby."
(scat song) ...knock a little patch on the cat's pants...
(scat song) ...swing a coat on grandma...
(scat song) ...get a little juice on the table...
(scat song) ...swang up get a little circus money...
(scat song) ...He said, "The spinnin' wheel, baby."
"I hope I didn't bring you down."
1 "Patrillo" was the name of the Chicago musicians' union's Business Manager, hence the man you would call to put together a band.
From Lord Buckley: A Most Immaculately Hip Aristocrat,
Straight Records, Compiled by Frank Zappa
Transcribed by EARL RIVERS
[Text Only Version]
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